Status in bed

abed.

The market never sleeps. We do.

A monkey. A bed. Zero plans to get up. $ABED is for everyone who checked the chart, sighed, and pulled the blanket back over their head.

CONTRACT ADDRESS · SOLANAAnLqbWQY6Bh7X2CzKxQvYd35S4MXrK8VPTbcf1gqpump
LIVE
2:14
A monkey lying in bed with his arm behind his head, looking at the camera
🔇📵
not getting up.
// A BEDTIME STORY

Once upon a time, he didn’t get up.

The whole lore. Short, because writing a long one would have meant getting up.

PAGE 01

The alarm rang.

He looked at it. It looked at him. He pressed snooze. Nobody has seen him vertical since.

PAGE 02

The chart moved.

Up. Down. Sideways. He watched all of it from the same pillow, arm behind head, face unchanged.

PAGE 03

People called.

“Did you sell?” “Are you up?” “Is this a rug?” He let it ring. The bed does not take calls.

PAGE 04

The end.

There is no end. There’s no roadmap either. Just a monkey, a bed, and a community that also isn’t getting up.

// THE SNOOZE BUTTON

Press it. Again.

Every press buys you nine more minutes in bed. Spacebar works too, because reaching for a mouse is a lot.

SNOOZES
0
EXTRA SLEEP
0h
RANK
awake
“just resting my eyes”

Your count is saved on this device. Nobody is judging. Well. A little.

07:00AM
ALARM · WAKE UP
// AN HONEST, UNBIASED COMPARISON

Pick your lifestyle.

3RD PLACE

Going to the gym

  • Requires leaving bed
  • Requires shoes
  • Loud men grunting
  • Technically healthy
WINNER · OBVIOUSLY
1ST PLACE

$ABED

  • Never leave bed
  • Pillow included
  • Blanket included
  • Snooze compatible
  • Monkey approved
Get in bed →
2ND PLACE

Getting up

  • Requires getting up
  • Cold floor
  • Emails
  • Breakfast, maybe
// MEME DRAWER (UNDER THE BED)

Same monkey. Same bed.

Tap to open, download, post. Every one of these was made lying down.

me after telling everyone i'd be productive today
rate my trading desk, labelled bed
getting up crossed out, staying in ABED approved
the chart is down 61% and i'm watching it from bed
when the group chat calls asking if you sold
when ABED hits a new ath and i still dont get up
snooze speedrun any percent
ABED holders daily routine, same pose at 9am 1pm 6pm 3am
touch grass? i touch sheets
POV you're the ABED dev giving the weekly update
me on weekdays vs me on weekends, identical
nobody: ABED holders at 2pm on a tuesday
// MEME MAKER

Make your own. From bed.

Type something relatable, hit download, post it. That’s the whole marketing plan.

// VOICES FROM UNDER THE BLANKET

The community has spoken.

“haven’t left bed since launch. not related. probably.”

— anon, horizontal

“I don’t get it.”

— my mom

“bought the top. went back to sleep. woke up fine.”

— anon, under blanket

“this is just a monkey in bed.”

— correct
// HOW TO BUY

Four steps. None require standing.

Grab your phone

It’s already in bed with you. Download Phantom or any Solana wallet. Never share your seed phrase.

Get some SOL

Buy SOL on an exchange and send it to your wallet. Still horizontal? Good.

Swap for $ABED

Paste the official contract (posted here and on 𝕏 at launch) into your DEX. Double-check it.

Go back to sleep

That’s it. That’s the strategy.

OFFICIAL CONTRACT · SOLANAAnLqbWQY6Bh7X2CzKxQvYd35S4MXrK8VPTbcf1gqpump
TICKER
$ABED
CHAIN
SOLANA
SUPPLY
TBA
TAX
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